Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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