Will you blow on my dice?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
