we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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