At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i dont even know how to be here
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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