Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
