Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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