I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
