Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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