he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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