bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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