whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
