i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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