I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I look better un-naked...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
