She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
