Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
