I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize