Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Randomize
