I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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