She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
