I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
