I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
