So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
