When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
