real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
