Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
