Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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