Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
