Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I will pee on everything he values.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
