marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize