dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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