im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
