she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize