But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
