:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
