just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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