so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so much tequila, so little girl.
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