did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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