i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
did i walk over a car last night?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
