This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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