hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
