She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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