Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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