i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
