Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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