youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They took my balls.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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