Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
did i walk over a car last night?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
