Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
