Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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