Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
