Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ugly people sure do ruin things
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
