The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
