dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
