I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
