i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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