She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
