Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
