Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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