well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
