Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
