how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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