I hate all girls vehemently.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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