No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize