It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
