I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
